MAY 5 — As Malaysia ages, the question of elderly care is becoming more urgent. But the issue is not only legal or financial. It is also deeply psychological. Filial piety is often understood as duty: children should care for ageing parents. But care is not produced by duty alone. It is shaped by attachment, empathy, family history, emotional capacity and the support available to the caregiver. In many Asian societies, including Malaysia, filial piety carries strong cultural expectations.
Children are expected to repay parental sacrifice, provide emotional support, contribute financially and remain present when parents grow old. These expectations are deeply embedded in social norms, religion and upbringing. They serve an important purpose. They promote respect, interdependence and a sense of responsibility across generations. While support systems are essential, individual responsibility towards ageing parents remains a core expectation that should not be overlooked.
However, these expectations are increasingly being tested by changing social realities. The structure of families is different today. Households are smaller. Many young adults migrate to cities or even abroad for education and work. Dual-income households are common, leaving less time for caregiving. At the same time, life expectancy is increasing, which means care-giving responsibilities may last longer and become more complex.
From a psychological perspective, Malaysia should be careful about treating elderly neglect only as a failure of values. In many cases, the issue may not be that young people do not care. It may be that they are overwhelmed. Youths and young adults today are navigating a prolonged transition into adulthood. Financial independence is often delayed due to rising living costs, job market uncertainty and housing affordability. Many are managing work stress, career instability and, in some cases, debt. At the same time, they are still forming their identity, relationships and future plans.
When caregiving responsibilities are added to this already demanding phase of life, the burden can become significant. This creates what psychologists describe as role conflict. A young adult may simultaneously occupy multiple roles such as employee, partner, parent and caregiver. Each role carries expectations, and these expectations can clash. For example, the need to work longer hours to sustain income may conflict with the need to spend time caring for an ageing parent. Over time, this tension can lead to stress, guilt and emotional exhaustion.
There is also the issue of emotional readiness. Caregiving is not only about performing tasks. It requires patience, empathy and emotional resilience. Not all young adults are equally prepared for this role, especially if they have not been exposed to caregiving responsibilities earlier in life. In families where there is a history of conflict, neglect or emotional distance, caregiving may feel even more difficult. In such situations, the expectation to provide care can trigger unresolved emotions, including resentment or ambivalence. Cultural expectations can intensify this pressure. Filial piety is often framed in absolute terms, where caring for parents is seen as a moral obligation that should not be questioned.
As Malaysia’s population ages, the question of who carries the burden of care — and whether they are supported enough to carry it well — grows more urgent by the day. — Picture by Raymond Manuel
While this reinforces responsibility, it can also discourage open discussion about the challenges of caregiving. Young people may feel that admitting difficulty is equivalent to admitting failure. As a result, stress remains hidden and unsupported. When responsibility is experienced as pressure rather than choice, it can affect the quality of care. Care that is driven by guilt or fear may become mechanical or inconsistent. In contrast, care that is supported and willingly given tends to be more sustainable and emotionally meaningful.
This does not mean neglect should be tolerated. Severe abandonment, abuse and exploitation must be addressed firmly. A legal framework may be necessary as a safeguard in extreme cases. It can provide protection for vulnerable elderly individuals and signal societal expectations.
However, the law should not become the primary solution to what is fundamentally a complex human and relational issue. Neglect itself is not always straightforward. It can range from clear abandonment to more subtle forms such as emotional withdrawal or inconsistent support. Defining neglect in legal terms can be challenging, particularly when family circumstances vary widely. There is also a risk that legal mechanisms may be misused, especially in situations involving family disputes or financial disagreements.
More importantly, punitive approaches may not address the root causes of neglect. If young people lack the time, financial resources or emotional capacity to provide care, punishment alone will not resolve these limitations. In some cases, it may even worsen family relationships by introducing fear and resentment.
This is why Malaysia needs a balanced and psychologically informed approach. Any law on elderly neglect must be carefully designed. It should clearly define neglect, focus on severe cases, and include safeguards against misuse. At the same time, it must be complemented by strong social and psychological support systems. Families need access to affordable eldercare services, caregiver training, counselling and respite care. Community-based support can reduce isolation and share the burden of caregiving. Employers can also play a role by offering flexible work arrangements for employees with caregiving responsibilities. For young caregivers, access to mental health support is particularly important, as they navigate stress, guilt and role conflict.
At a deeper level, filial piety should be nurtured long before caregiving becomes necessary. Adolescence is a critical period for developing empathy, responsibility and family connectedness. Values such as respect and care are not formed suddenly in adulthood. They are shaped gradually through family relationships, socialisation and lived experience. When these foundations are strong, individuals are more likely to provide care willingly and meaningfully later in life. In the end, filial piety cannot simply be legislated. It must be developed, supported and sustained within a broader social context. Malaysia’s challenge is not only to prevent neglect, but to create an environment where care is possible. This means recognising both the cultural importance of filial piety and the modern realities faced by younger generations.
Make care possible first, then make neglect punishable.
* Assoc. Prof. Dr. Haslina Muhamad is from the Department of Anthropology & Sociology, Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences, Universiti Malaya, and can be contacted at haslina_m@um.edu.my
** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
